Level: Community   —   Pillar: Women’s Health and Well-being

This week’s featured story came in from Washington, DC :

During a recent weekend visit to my childhood home I took some time to sort through a box of old books and diaries. In the process, I stumbled across the loose-leaf notebook that was my diary when I was 15 years old. Pages upon pages were filled with the highlights of summer adventures, rants about my teenage sense of injustice, and most of all, lengthy descriptions of my first boyfriend and our relationship. Fifteen years later it is startling to remember how desperately I wanted this boy to like me and the extent to which my outlook on everything from my day to my sense of self was dependent on his actions.

Luckily, aside from innocent heartache, I emerged from my teenage years unscathed. I am particularly grateful for this when I read current statistics on teenage dating. According to recent surveys, 1 in 5 teens (ages 11 – 18) report having been in a relationship where they were hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. And 1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious relationship say they’ve been concerned about being physically hurt by their partner. With my own memories of teenage “love” fresh in my mind, these statistics strike me as both mind-boggling and deeply disturbing.

What can we do to end such widespread teen dating abuse?

I believe that the support and advice of adults can make a dramatic difference in teens’ lives. This includes building girls’ confidence and empowering them to believe that abuse is never deserved and is never their fault. It also means educating both girls and boys about healthy, safe relationships.

In addition to developing a teen dating violence prevention curriculum to be used in schools across the country, the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline has created a Teen Dating Bill of Rights to help teenagers learn about positive, healthy relationships. The Bill of Rights encourages teenagers to pledge: “I have the right: To always be treated with respect; To be in a healthy relationship that is not controlling, manipulative, or jealous and involves honesty, trust, and communication; To not be hurt physically or emotionally; …”

With education on how to maintain healthy relationships and support from adults, more and more teenagers can have relationships free from abuse and violence. Heartache is the worst any teenager should have to experience in a relationship.

Postscript: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the United States. One of many ways to prevent domestic violence is to help teens prevent and protect themselves from abusive relationships at a young age.

Please use the comments section to share your thoughts on teen dating violence or to tell others about your experience sharing the Teen Dating Bill of Rights.