Expectations Guide

What can you expect when you communicate with women whose cultures are very different from your own? What will they expect of you? How will you know if you're doing it right? How much time will this take, and what are they going to want from you?

These notes on realistic expectations are meant to ease any anxiety you may feel.

• Reality 1: Expect that this is an experiment for every woman who has the courage to step in. The learning will be within yourself and within your own Circle, as well as the global connection. We love Circle Principles as the bedrock for peacebuilding.

• Reality 2: Expect to form a relationship that changes you.

• Reality 3: Expect that everyone is excited and very curious in the beginning, with their own unspoken hopes for what will develop. Early in the dialogue, gently raise the issue of what your Circle sisters are hoping for. This is a wonderful way to build trust.

• Reality 4: Expect to enter the communication slowly, as you would with any new relationship. Gently gather and share information about your lives, families, jobs, and interests.

• Reality 5: Expect not to be perfect. Step in gently, knowing that every woman has an ideal to live up to. We are here to remind you that none of us is perfect. And that's okay! If you stumble in the beginning then it's working. There is no other way to begin. If you need help, please contact membersupport@peacexpeace.org.

• Reality 6: Expect to be pleasantly surprised by what deep, real relationships you can develop through the internet. As women, we have a gift for communication.

• Reality 7: Expect opportunities to learn what's really happening in the world through the small details of your communications.

• Reality 8: Expect to be a mentor to your Circle sisters, and to be mentored. You are the expert on your own culture, traditions, religion, and daily rituals. No matter their background or education, they probably know very little about your world. Women are eager to learn about the world firsthand through each other's eyes and ears.

• Reality 9: Expect the communications to be sporadic and sometimes infrequent. Busy schedules, lack of internet access, other urgent demands, and unspoken needs or conflicts can interrupt the flow of communication. For help write to membersupport@peacexpeace.org or simply get HELP!!

• Reality 10: Expect that there are times when you'll want to give up. Persevere, and refresh yourself by looking at the big picture.

• Reality 11: Expect that some women will be more reserved or more ready to disclose personal information than you expect. It is up to you to experience the discomfort and decide how to proceed. We can help. Write to membersupport@peacexpeace.org, or join Kay on our live member support calls.

• Reality 12: Expect that some women only want to know about your culture, life, and personal feelings while others enter the conversation to advance something they care deeply about. Expect to figure out what works for you both. Test out this way of growing to know one another through The Women's Global Roundtable, live, weekly interviews with women around the world.

• Reality 13: Expect times when you just don't understand what your sisters are talking about. Chat about it with Kay, our member care facilitator.

• Reality 14: Expect that if there is a difference in economic status between you and your sisters, financial or resource support may come up once the friendship is established. You can expect initial discomfort as you wrestle with the impact of that decision on your friendship. It is a clarifying moment that can turn your friendship into something quite special. Click here to read our Money Guide.

• Reality 15: Expect mentoring, joint projects, activism, and direct support as natural outcomes from a healthy relationship with your sisters.  Read what others have experienced as a result of their connections.

• Reality 16: Expect to grow in the ability to say "Sometimes I am willing and sometimes I am not."